Do I really need a coach?
You might be wondering this right now - do I really need a coach? And as so often is the case, there’s a short answer - no, and a longer answer - maybe. So many clients I work with don’t really need me because they actually already have a coach, who is right there with them all the time - their inner coach. Now, we don’t always give that inner coach the time and space to do their best work, and they can often be drowned out by other voices - inner doubt, and our inner critic. And it’s here that an “in real life” coach can help to strengthen that inner voice of wisdom and support.
I was in a client session recently, preparing for a promotion conversation. She said to me: “Liv, I wish I could just bring you into the meeting with me”. She wanted someone by her side, supporting her, and stretching her. And through the discussion that followed, I was able to help her see that she had her own inner coach, with her at all times, ready to provide wisdom and encouragement, if she could give it the space to speak.
Your inner coach is your inner wisdom, that supportive inner voice that pipes up when things get difficult and helps you see things clearer and tells you “it’s going to be OK”, “you can do this”, “you’re good enough”. This voice counters feelings of doubt, or irrational worries, and reminds us of our past successes. It prompts us to look for the evidence in a situation. Our inner coach helps us feel good about ourselves, and helps spur us on when times get tough - our own personal cheerleader.
But, the inner coach can be dominated by other inner voices (at Paseda360 we call this the “inside job”), including inner doubt, an inner critic, and a judge. They’re all ready and very willing to speak loudly, voicing our deepest fears, drowning out the inner coach, and ultimately holding us back.
And so, we often fail to hear, or listen to what our inner coach is trying to tell us.
The challenge is to get more closely connected to our inner coach. Sometimes the written word can be a helpful way to do this. I will often suggest that my clients start an “evidence file”, a log of moments where they have shown bravery, growth and learning. Not only is this file a great document to look at on those days when self-doubt can feel loud, beginning a practice of slowing down, and noticing these moments, can help to establish a habit of listening more closely to that inner coach.
Now, before I finish, let me say something here about using AI as a proxy for a coach. It can feel helpful to quickly tap in a worry, a doubt, or a niggle into a chat and receive a supportive, cheerleading response in return. And, whilst AI coaching has it’s place, I would remind you that your own, personal inner coach has far greater power. Why? Because your inner coach knows your past successes, it deeply knows your strengths, and it fully understands the experiences that have led you to where you are today. Unless you’re planning on uploading your whole brain into the cloud, your own inner coach will bring you a wisdom far beyond anything powered by AI.
The best coaches I know have a side quest - to make themselves redundant with each of their clients over time. And it’s through helping our clients tune in and amplify their inner coach, and use it’s power to counter the harmful thoughts of doubt, criticism and judgment that so often guide our actions, that coaches can deliver significant outcomes with their clients that can last many years beyond the formal coaching partnership.
From Liv 💛
P.S. If you’ve found this useful, then please join my weekly email community for regular doses of wisdom like this, straight to your inbox. If you’re interested in working with me, then check out my 121 coaching packages and use this link to arrange an initial chat with me. And if you’d like me to talk to your team, organisation or community about this, or any of my other articles, then please reach out via email to enquire about speaking/workshop engagements.
