How can I bounce back from rejection when applying for jobs?

Job rejection can knock your confidence, trigger imposter syndrome and make you question your next move. But what if you could prepare for those moments before they happen? In this article, I share a simple coaching exercise that helps you build emotional resilience during your job search by writing two letters to your future self: one to read if you're rejected, and one to read if you're offered the role. Together, they can help you stay grounded, make intentional decisions and navigate the highs and lows of career change with greater confidence.

When we think of the job searching process, we usually think of scouring job sites, phoning recruiters, updating the CV and preparing for interviews. What’s talked about less often is the inner work that’s needed to sustain you through the inevitable ups and downs of job hunting. The work to prepare yourself emotionally for setbacks. 

I’ve supported plenty of clients as they navigate the search for their next role. And what I can tell you is that in this market it’s not easy. There will be rejections. Sometimes there will be rejections that make sense (I probably wasn’t a good fit, I didn’t want the job anyway). And sadly, sometimes there will be rejections for roles that you know you’d be perfect for. For roles you’d love to do. For roles where in your mind you’ve already walked in on your first day and set your priorities. 

These rejections will hurt. Some more, some less. But they’ll all register. If you get a few you might get used to them a little, or they might combine to make you feel pretty dreadful. And as well as creating feelings of disappointment, it can get personal. Rejection can wake up old stories, imposter syndrome you thought you’d overcome, and previous career experiences of rejection or setbacks. Rejection will make you question your value, your competence, your readiness. It will make you replay every small detail and doubt yourself. 

So, what can you do about rejection?

I’ve talked before about the importance of giving yourself the time and space to actually process rejection (here, I talked about it in the context of the rejection associated with being made redundant). Sometimes you need to sit with the feelings a little, avoiding the urge to push them down and tell yourself “it’s all fine”. Let those feelings pass through. I use a powerful tool called Event Havening for coaches as part of my coaching practice to help my clients stabilise their emotional response to the rejection of job searching and we get great outcomes this way. 

But you can also do some contingency planning. Your inner coach can help you with this (again, something I’ve talked about before). When you’re feeling emotionally stable and confident, you can tap into your inner wisdom, give yourself some perspective, and give ‘future you’ some good advice. You can write yourself a letter. 

I was working on this with a client who’s in the midst of a significant job search process. It reminded him of the speech Richard Nixon prepared in advance of the Apollo 11 moon mission titled “In Event of Moon Disaster”. If Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong had been stranded on the moon, Nixon had already planned the solemn and wise words he would share with the watching world. Thankfully, the speech was never needed, but knowing it was ready would have given a little comfort during those nailbiting moments. 

So, if you’re currently riding the rollercoaster of job searching, this is an exercise you can do too. Write yourself a letter called “In the Event of Rejection”. In this letter consider:

💛What would you want yourself to remember?

💛What evidence proves you're capable?

💛What have you overcome before?

💛What will matter six months from now?

💛What should you do in the next 24 hours to stabilise your emotions?

💛Who should you talk to?

💛What must you avoid believing?

💛What’s your immediate next step?

Seal it, and store it away somewhere safe. Hopefully you’ll never need it. But it’ll be waiting for you if you need it.

And what about if you get offered the job?

Success can bring it’s own challenges. Success can create fear, self doubt and cause imposter syndrome to rear it’s ugly head too. It can stop us thinking straight. I’ve known plenty of people who’ve been offered a job and have been so grateful and desperate for the feeling of certainty and security that it brings that they forget to ask themselves if it’s the right role for them, if they’re really a good fit or if it meets their expectations from a reward or flexibility perspective. So, I suggest you write yourself a second letter called “In the Event of Success”. In this letter consider:

💛What factors do you want to assess about this offer before making a decision to accept?

💛What strengths helped you get here?

💛What qualities do you want to bring with you into this next chapter?

💛What will you do when self-doubt inevitably appears?

💛Who can you lean on or ask for help?

💛How will you celebrate this achievement?

💛What’s your immediate next step?

Your future self will thank you

Job searching can be an emotionally demanding rollercoaster. It can be easy to get swept up in disappointment and self doubt, as well as excitement and relief. And whilst we must allow ourselves to “feel all the feelings” it’s good to avoid letting them run the show. Thinking ahead from a place of calm can act as contingency planning, reminding ourselves to slow down, stabilise our emotions, and keep things intentional. 

There's something super powerful about writing to your future self from a place of calm and then trusting that calmer, wiser version of yourself to be there when emotions are running high. It's almost like creating an external version of your inner coach that you can access exactly when you need it most.

I’d love to hear if you try this exercise and whether it helps you navigate the ups and downs. 

💛If you’re reading this article, then you might be looking for a new role. Perhaps it’s feeling tough. If that’s you then we should have a chat… use this link to set up a discovery call with me https://calendly.com/liv-yellowbenchcoaching/30min_discovery_call

P.S. Thankyou to my wonderful client for giving me some historical context to this exercise, and helping me develop it.